Ten more days

It has been raining strongly since yesterday and I feel a lack of energy. Something is different. I have no eagerness to do anything now. I have one and a half weeks until I leave Auckland. However, I can't do anything because I already finish my school and I can only work sixteen hours per week due to my visa condition. I currently think I need to do something exciting that I can use my full of energy. What a shame! What on earth am I doing?

Whenever I think about what my friends are doing now in Japan, I always feel a kind of inferiority. They must work hard and grow up day by day. How about myself? I don't think I grew up in New Zealand compared to how much they did. I considered coming to New Zealand as a "challenge" or "restart", but it seems to be a sort of "run away from the real world". I still have no clue what to do next. I don't have any specific interests or special qualifications. What I am doing is to just do a thing I already can do. No challenge, no growing up.

Oh, that is a bad sign... Everytime I got a long holiday, I turned into depressed because of too much thinking. I am always anxious about my future.

Ten more days, the situation will change. I need to remind myself not to forget "challenge" thing.