The problem is, however, my English, especially speaking skill is really terrible. Why is it so difficult to speak English? I can't still express my feelings in English even though I have kept practicing for a long time. What's worse, I couldn't get a part-time job after all. I guess my English skill is not enough. But I have to get a job sooner or later because I don't have enough money to stay long. I need much more practice to improve my English skill.
To be honest, something have made me depressed these days. I know that is all my fault. I always make myself down. Recently quite a big negative spiral was in my brain and I was struggling with it. I didn't want to do anything. I couldn't have confidence with anything. I was always thinking "I can't do anything!". When everything goes wrong, I am often disappointed with me because I am so weak. Fortunately, though, it seems that I feel better now. All I have to do from now on is to trust me, to believe me, to like me. I think there would be more tough time ahead, but I must believe I can get over it. Don't be silly. It takes time to improve something. It takes time to change myself. Just go ahead and keep doing. Sometimes take a rest. It would be fine.
Although I still have a plenty of time, I have to value every minute of spending here not to regret.
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